Alright this is a dangerous question, because if there’s one thing that a man can get sensitive about, it’s sex.
Before I share my thoughts about this from the average guy’s perspective, the big brother in me wants to say congratulations! I’m not only proud of you for finding this revelation, but I commend you for committing to being obedient to what you’ve learned.
Okay so this one is hard for a few reasons.
1. It’s hard to quit! Once you’ve developed an appetite for something, it’s not easy to forget it. This is undoubtedly true for sex. Remember, I’m speaking for the guys here. You may not feel as strongly about the difficulty to quit, but the most important aspect of this life change is consistency. I want to encourage you to be fully committed to your abstinence before mentioning it to your boyfriend. He will have a much harder time accepting your decision if it is not a strong conviction in your heart. Unless God is working on him to feel the same way (which is the best case scenario), he will look for any possible loophole or compromise to try to salvage any physical contact you will allow. Even if he knows it’s right, do not give him a reason to discredit your conviction by attempting to straddle the fence.
2. The second and main reason I said this is a dangerous question is because it directly attacks the male ego. Warning: He will likely think this decision is a form of rejection or punishment. My advice to you is to affirm your feelings for him and reassure him by letting him know this is a personal decision that indicates a change in your relationship with God rather than your relationship with your boyfriend.
3. He may not accept it. Please be prepared for whatever his response may be. It is possible for him to disagree with your decision and choose to end the relationship. Aside from a strong devotion to Christ, very few things can inspire a man to suppress his desire for sex, so it is very difficult for him to imagine that you could. He may accuse you of being unfaithful or something else to try to rationalize the situation.
I’m sure there are a million other questions or concerns swirling through your head that I couldn’t even try to imagine answering. These are the best kinds of questions for us to receive, because it’s one I think we will all have the opportunity to learn from. I can’t wait to read what Cass said. Friday’s post should be very interesting!