This is so exciting – our first week of tag team posts is almost complete! We were asked about having cold feet before our wedding day. We both answered independently on Monday (Cass) and Wednesday (Mike), and this is the conclusion. So if you haven’t read Parts 1 & 2 of this week’s topic, we have so much more for you to enjoy.
In the interest of full transparency and honesty for you, as the reader, we did not see or discuss our answers until both of us metaphorically ‘put our pens down.’
It was interesting knowing what we expected each other’s answer to be, but wanting to peek to avoid an unpleasant surprise. We both started with started with an immediate and definite…
…But the rest of the story shows that we were tempted to think otherwise.
We were both challenged with fearful thoughts or questions that we had to pray through. We ultimately had to come to the realization that it doesn’t always happen the way it does in the movies (Cass: although I want to pitch our story to Sherwood Pictures).
The lesson we learned from exploring the ‘cold feet crisis’ is that it is basically a mask for selfishness and insecurity. Selfishness says, “I might want or find something better.” Insecurity says, “What if he/she finds something better?” These are the thoughts behind the consumer mindset of marriage. Although this is a common sentiment in dating, you can’t approach marriage as you would if you were buying a pair of shoes or looking for the perfect teapot. At the point that someone choses to spend the rest of their life with you (and hopefully you do the same) it becomes your life together, and that’s an equal exchange with a strict policy of no returns.
Both lives may be crazy or messed up in unique ways, but the important thing is that they are both whole. The fear comes from expecting someone to complete you, and then realizing that no other human can. It takes a completeness that can only from God for 2 to become 1. When you think about it, it’s actually 3 = 1. Pretty remarkable math isn’t it?