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Winter Toes (Pt. 2)

Did you get cold feet before your wedding day?

If anybody asked me if I had cold feet, I would quickly tell them "No, I've been ready!" Something I've learned in doing youth ministry is the first answer is always the polite answer. The first answer is always the shortest answer to avoid an engaging conversation. The truth comes the second time a question is asked. The second time suggests the first response wasn't good enough, so it forces the person to stop and really think about their answer. This is that second time asking, because the short, polite answer doesn't make for a good debut blog post.

Now that I've built up the anticipation, I'll say I did not have cold feet. I did, however, have to evaluate and question things when my ideals were challenged in situations. Any major life decision deserves deep consideration. For a person who doesn't believe in divorce, I take this commitment very serious.

In tough times, that little, annoying voice would sneak into my head and say, "You don't have to go through with this." That little voice was annoying, but it wasn't as evil as it sounds. It reminded me that getting married was a choice I didn't have to make, but it was a choice I was making that I would continue to confidently make for the rest of my life.

The Wikipedia definition of "cold feet" is apprehension or doubt strong enough to prevent a planned course of action. I may have experienced a little apprehension on one of Cass' particularly bratty days, but it was never strong enough to prevent our planned course of action. I never doubted my love for her or the calling God placed on our lives when we decided to be together.

I think most cases of cold feet come from lack of confidence in your self. You either doubt your ability to be a good spouse, question your worthiness to deserve a good partner or don't believe you are capable of honoring the commitment of being faithful. The problem I see through these three broad generalizations is a dependence on people.

"Cold feet" settles in when we realize the other person is as human as we are. 

The moment you have that big fight or you discover a flaw (you thought) didn't exist before, you lose faith in that person. Well I think losing faith in your wife is a good thing. It's even better if she's still just your girlfriend or fiancé. Losing faith eliminates expectations and allows a person to be themselves. I trust Cass, but the only thing I expect is for her to let me down sometimes. I only have faith in God, and his promise about marriage is THERE WILL BE

TROUBLE (see 1 Corinthians 7:28).

So allow me to share my feet warmers with you, she won't be perfect, but neither will you. If you both put your faith in God, instead of each other, you decrease your chances of being disappointed by 100%! If you're experiencing cold feet, my hope is that you're transferring that faith from her to Him.