|Death to Stock|
Y'all I hate small talk. If I could I'd stay locked in my apartment, alone, under a blanket, holding my breath to avoid it.
Unfortunately, that's not always possible.
We have to do life with people and once we push past the awkward stage of small talk we sometimes find our greatest friends.
That being said it's still comforting to know that other people struggle with "dinner party convo" as much as I do. Here are a few outs as shared by the New York Times.
Q: “Hey, how’s it going?”
In this instance, the speaker is somewhat interested in knowing how you are, but only the smallest details. Don’t over-share, but don’t under-share, either. Keep your answer succinct and stop doing that thing with your hands. Everyone is watching you do that thing with your hands and the longer you stand there, the more prominent the hand thing becomes.
Q: “Where do you work?”
Go to the bathroom. Now, now, now. This conversation has shifted dramatically, and you need to get out of there. Say something like, “Be right back,” or “Gotta go pee,” but don’t say it too loud, or too weird. Say it normal, for crying out loud. BE NORMAL.
Q: “What time is it?”
Look at your watch. It’s 6:47. Do you say “quarter to 7”? Maybe. That’s probably safe. But then what if this person has somewhere to be at 7? Now your whole “quarter to 7” statement makes her think she has an extra two minutes to get there. Cut to 13 minutes from now and that person is late for her extremely important obligation. Say “6:48.” Yes. That’s good. Breathe.