I was reading a Lysa TerKeurst book and in a section about jealousy I came across a line that read something like this:
I can't handle her load, good and bad.
I often find myself stuck in the trap of comparison Lysa was describing. I couldn't help but pause while reading this line to reflect upon times I've thought I wanted someone else's load.
My coworker drives the cutest little white, 2 door, Mercedes you've ever seen. I've never considered myself a car person but I sometimes feel a bit of shame when I park my "mom car" a practical, black, crossover SUV next to her. I think to myself "we're the same age and you cannot afford a car like that". But I can't handle her load. While I took my time going to school and deciding a career path she was working long hours to provide for the kid she had as a teen. Her car was a gift she bought for herself after years of saving. I could never have committed that much time to planning and sacrificing to have what she has.
My roommate is a super talented musician and until recently she made money by teaching guitar lessons and booking random gigs. She also serves in student ministry and her work schedule allowed her to sleep in, eat lunch on campus with her small group girls, and go on multiple mission trips. Having a more traditional work schedule I was totally envious of her. But I can't handle her load. Most of her gigs were at night and I function best when I head to bed at 10:30 p.m. She had to actively search for work by talking to people. I'm a huge introvert and having to do that in order to eat would have stressed me out. She has to be a responsible adult and put aside money to pay taxes once a year. I much prefer getting mine taken out of my check and receiving a refund once a year.
I could go on and on about loads I can't handle. It kind of gets depressing until I realize there are people that can't handle my load. The life I take for granted and at most times float through would be absolutely absurd to someone else. That's why God designed me to carry it. My passions, talents, and my personality are perfectly in line with a super specific role God has for me. And I'm glad to say that, I can handle.