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spotlight | Wholly Beloved

One of the saddest things in the world to me is when I stumble upon a blog post I love only to find that it's from X number of months ago and its author has no new content. That happened to me a couple weeks ago when someone shared, fellow Peony Project member, Rebekah Elaine's post How To Deal When Life Feels Out Of Control.

How To Deal When Your Life Feels Out Of

Imagine you are on fire. Just do it. Close your eyes and feel the heat. What’s it like? I mean, besides being in excruciating pain-you’re probably feeling completely and utterly out of control of the situation. You’re panicking and you’re wondering how you got yourself into this awful predicament… Maybe you didn’t spontaneously burst into flames, but doing something stupid landed you in a fiery mess; so you’re beating yourself up on top of the whole being a real life human Rapidash (it’s a pokemon reference. The horse’s mane and tail are flames. I’m embarrassed now…) OR possibly it was a freak accident, and you just kind of turned into fire. Cause you’re so hot, probably. Either way-you feel, with good reason, like you are being totally consumed by something that is hurting you and no matter how you ended up there or what’s going to happen afterwards, all you want to do is make it STOP. So what do you do? Well hopefully, if you paid attention to ANYTHING when you were a child, you know to stop, drop, and roll. It’s really your only option.

Ok, you can stop imagining now! Chances are, you’re not going to catch on fire-ever. Unless you’re a complete idiot or extremely unfortunate. But that feeling of being out of control, helpless, in pain, fearful, anxious…you probably feel that on a daily basis! It’s a part of life that we all experience, especially those of us who like for things to go exactly according to plan and within our control. Sometimes that’s not realistic, though, and we would save ourselves a great deal of frustration and discomfort if we simply learned how to deal when we are feeling out of control. And we can. All we need to do is stop, drop, and roll. Here’s what I mean…

STOP having unrealistic expectations for yourself and for your life. I know you have big dreams and an awesome future and you want it RIGHT NOW. You look around and see everyone else that has that cool job, nice car, happy little family, freedom, time, you-name-it; but when you look at where you are now and compare it-your dreams seem so far away. First of all, comparing will get you nowhere! You know that! There is no way your journey will be the same as somebody else’s; we all grow and learn and experience things at a different pace and in different seasons-that’s perfectly ok! Maybe that person who is living the life you dream of went through exactly what you are going through now, except it was ten years ago. The point is, they got through it! And you will too! In time. That brings us to the second point: you can’t skip steps and cut corners…I take that back, you CAN. But you might regret it or be extremely disappointed with the outcome. Now, let me preface by saying cutting corners and skipping steps is not the same as taking an unconventional route. For example, choosing to not go to college isn’t always skipping a step but instead taking an unconventional route (unless your career of choice requires it; then don’t be mad at me when you try to interview and tell them you just took the “unconventional route” *hint: it won’t work out well for you). But you get my point, right? Some things aren’t necessary to get where we want in life, but some things are. Those things-like saving money, studying, practicing-you can’t just leave out, ignore, and wish away because you are anxious to turn the page of your current chapter. If you skip ahead, the book won’t even make sense. Which is why you need to…..
DROP the negativity. Focusing on the future and a life you envision so much that it makes your current state of life miserable is a big no-no! Don’t do it. I’ve been there (still visit every once in a while), and I know what it’s like to think that your future will be better than your present; but that in no way has to be the case. You have every reason to savor every moment and put just as much energy into enjoying the now as you do into preparing for the later. The best possible way for you to do that is to just…
ROLL with it. When your life is seemingly spiraling out of your control, is there even anything else you can do but roll with it?? Sometimes when life throws you a curve ball your chances of knocking it out of the park are even greater. You just gotta adjust to what is being thrown at you and swing for the fences. Everything isn’t always going to happen the way you plan it and letting frustration or disappointment when that happens break you down or throw you off track entirely is 100% avoidable. Being flexible and changing your mind doesn’t mean your goals are out of reach or that you gave up on them. A lot of times our excitement and anticipation of the future can cause us to blindly make plans that leave out important steps, so it takes a wake-up call to realize that we have to change them-sometimes drastically! Those are the times it is especially important to be open-minded, positive, appreciative, persistent, encouraged, and do anything BUT give up.

Next time you are feeling out of control and your life isn’t what you pictured it would be by now why not give the stop! drop! and roll! method a try.