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confessions | I want what AJ had


A couple of weeks ago we had our fall high school retreat. The theme for this year was End Game. We spent the weekend talking to our students about focusing on the things that really matter and the brevity of life.
When I returned to work on Monday morning I found out that a coworker, who had been battling cancer, died Saturday while I was at retreat. Isn't God's timing crazy accurate?! Over a year ago when my coworker was initially diagnosed she was only given a few months to live. Almost immediately the young mother took to social media to...praise God.
You read that right.
In the year that followed her diagnosis she didn't share posts filled with sadness or grief. She didn't speak on how unfair it was that she would be leaving behind three babies who would probably never remember anything about her outside of what they were told. She never said "why me?"
When she died people were filled with the usual sadness over the loss but the statement that came out of most people's mouths was "I want what she had". Even while facing death she radiated the joy and peace that comes only from the Lord. I can't help but think what would have happened if she faced her diagnosis with a "woe is me attitude"
There are now hundreds of people in our southeastern offices trying to find out more about this "Jesus guy" because one person chose to live an #EndGamer life. Where most people would have felt forsaken and would have turned their backs on God she drew closer. In doing so and seeing beyond her temporariness of her earthly life she was able to be used for the eternal. 
I can't help but be humbled y'all.
How many times do I let a stressful day at work or harsh words from a friend take my focus off God? Even when I respond in a way that would earn me a check in the "good Christian box" (like responding in love or showing grace) I still get so preoccupied with the menial (patting myself on the back or wondering what the heck is wrong with the other person) that I forget about the eternal. Though I already know Jesus I realize I still have a long way to go. I'm in the same boat as my coworkers when they say "I want what AJ had".