A few weeks ago as I pumped gas in the freezing cold, my stomach growling, my arms sore and covered in bandages my dad said something that shocked me "Wow Cass, I haven't heard you this happy in a really long time". The main reason it was shocking was because I was actually in the middle of complaining that my insurance didn't cover immunizations so I had to pay a healthy sum out of pocket for all the shots I needed for my upcoming mission trip. But I stopped for a minute and thought; he's right I really haven't been this happy in a while.
This trip is one I've wanted to go on for years but timing with school or work never seemed to line up in my favor. It's also the first big thing I've done in the last year that didn't fit neatly into my five year plan. If you read yesterday's post then you know I'd refer to this decision as #reckless. I'm a hippie at heart so it's been a blessing to be able to do something just for the joy of the thing itself. As I sit in a circle with my family group of high school students on Sunday nights I just feel peace. Preparing for this trip with them and hearing their stories reminds me that this world is so much bigger than my bubble.
I guess that's what I love about serving in student ministry, in general. It takes you back to that point in your life when the biggest thing in your world involved who'd you sit with at lunch or if you'd pass your driver's exam and reminds you one day it won't matter. What I realize, time and time again, is that the same is still true for me as an adult. My decisions might have longer lasting consequences but in the end most things I stress over are "meaningless, a chasing after the wind".
I've called my dad countless times with good news "I got the job", "I've found the one", "my new haircut looks awesome". Never in those instances did he comment on how happy I sounded though obviously I was. However, in a moment of grumbling he sensed what my soul knows so well; I was made for this. We we're made to make Him known so let's start doing it.
Blank Space - Taylor Swift