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morning musings | Flower Power

There was a time in my life where I hated flowers. Not all flowers just the store bought prearranged kind. I didn't really hate them (that's a little intense) they just seemed like a silly waste of money on something that would be dead before my milk expired. That was also a season where I was casually dating and living with two other single girls that were doing the same. So needless to say our house never lacked a supply of fresh flowers.

As I grew to be more intentional about the types of men I dated (no more free dinners or movies because I'm bored) I realized I missed having flowers around. Perspective is everything I guess. The right arrangement can be like a little burst of sunshine indoors; it's an instant mood lifter. Also, I hate to admit it, but there's something irresistibly satisfying about looking at a vase of flowers and realizing you are chosen and special.

That might be reading too much into things but that's where my mind goes. However, I feel equally special when the flowers were simply purchased by me, for me, on a whim as I grabbed groceries at Trader Joe's (they have the best cheap sunflowers y'all). Then they're a reminder that I was chosen not by a man, who could easily change his mind once he learns about my unhealthy love of British shows and Lemony Snicket books, but by an unchanging God. The same God knew all my quirks and shortcomings and still chose me despite their existence (and more so uses them to do crazy amazing things).

When I was in high school a girl shared the following poem during a unit on poetry.

After A While –Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

I'm not sure what blows my mind more the fact that to this day I still remember it (and have no idea what poem I shared) or the fact that she could identify with these feelings at 16! Either way the words are so true. I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer. Nor am I jumping on the "you don't need a man" bandwagon. I love men; they're great. Sometimes they lack common sense but overall I'd keep 'em. Despite their greatness a human, of any gender or relation, will let you down…always. From a supportive parent to a loving spouse all humans are flawed. This is why we need to go to the one who knows the desires of our heart, can fill any void, and will never let us down…Jesus. So the next time you're out grab yourself some flowers as a reminder that you don't have to wait for security and love because He sought you out chased you down and called you His own.