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confessions | I Blew It

(Where's a TARDIS when you need one?)


*confession within a confession alert* I've been feeling prideful lately. How does that saying go "pride cometh before the fall" or something? Well I experienced that this weekend and of all places: at church!

Historically I've struggled with my temper. In college I was the first to tell someone exactly what was on my mind. For the past 6 months I've done a bang up job at holding my tongue. In fact, last week, I almost wrote a confessions post basically patting myself on the back for how well I've been doing about praying over situations before reacting. 
That being said I had a real humbling moment Sunday when, after a special night of worship, I lost it!
There I was feeling refreshed, at peace, and truly happy. Five minutes later I let someone else's actions pull me down, steal my joy, and worse at the time I didn’t even feel bad about it. In fact I was proud (yup there's that word again) that instead of saying something mean or nasty to the person that angered me I simply made an angry comment to my friends that were standing nearby. I was completely justified, right? Wrong!
Thankfully #beau (I've been looking for an excuse to finally use that word) waited until we left the building and I calmed down before pointing out the "teachable moment". Seeing my actions from rational eyes wrecked me. I had been so focused on what I could have done and how much worse the old me would have reacted that I failed to think of how much better I could have responded.
The next day he sent me this scripture
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Ephesians 4:2

Way to rub it in, right?! I'm teasing. I am so blessed to have people in my life that love me enough to call me out even when it hurts. That's how we grow and get better. We don't have time machines yet (or so the government says) so I can't undo my actions. However I can pray about the situation, learn from it, and let it go. This was just a reminder that I need to focus my eyes on the unchanging God who brings peace, joy, and strength. Instead of focusing on my fickle emotions.